When The Rain Starts To Pour
by Imogen LeFay
Summary: Just married, Blaine should be in absolute bliss. (Even if he got married at somebody else's wedding. In a barn.) But with Dalton's destruction, reality comes crashing in, and with it all the doubts and questions he maybe should have asked himself before saying "I do". A memorial is supposed to bring him closure. But once again, it's Sebastian who surprises him.


_Notes:  
__For some reason I still have a mild obsession for a show that I haven't seen in years, and to be honest didn't even like that much in the end. I barely watched season six, except for the wedding and the final episodes. The whole show is a monument to wasted potential, really, but Blaine is a character that kind of stuck in my brain. As you can see from my stories so far, I shipped Klaine, a lot. But lately, I looked back… and suddenly, the pairing really turned sour for me. They started out strong, but even starting in season 3 the writing turned them into something kind of toxic. So lately, I've been more interested in Seblaine (which I always had a soft spot for, though you couldn't tell from the stories I wrote, and which I really wished had gotten a shot at some point). So from somewhere within this pairing shift, this story showed up._

_The story is set after the wedding and the fire destroying Dalton. So obviously, Klaine are married in this. But the focus is on Blaine, minorly on Sebastian. It's critical of the whole spontaneous wedding thing, and probably very colored by my souring on the pairing. So for readers feeling Klaine is the ultimate pairing… you probably won't like it that much._

* * *

**When The Rain Starts To Pour**

* * *

I

Los Angeles might have been the best decision he'd ever made. Sebastian had spent a lot of time trying to figure out what college he wanted to go to. His father had been determined to get him into Harvard. His mother had dropped countless hints to get him back to Paris. For a short while he'd even considered Columbia. But there was only one thing that could interest him about New York, and that reason was very much taken. Sebastian had known that being nice sucked, but he hadn't realized how much until he had actually watched Blaine proposing to someone else.

Sebastian didn't believe in love and soulmates, and so he'd thought the whole thing stupid. A spectacular idiocy. He hadn't exactly wished for Hummel to say no, and watch Blaine's heart get crushed. He just hadn't thought it would hurt that much to watch them get engaged.

It was stupid. Sebastian didn't _love_ Blaine. They had been friends, and Sebastian really would have liked to get him into bed at least once (twice, multiple times, and again…)

Maybe it was more about the potential. Blaine had been the only person Sebastian could have seen himself developing feelings for. At some point. Possibly.

Love was just idiotic, and nothing he was interested in anyway. Why would he want something that could crush a person, turning them into a shadow of themselves as love had done with Blaine? No, he'd prefer to just let loose and have fun.

In that regard, going to LA had done wonders for him, too. Finally, maybe for the first time since he had to leave Paris and return into his father's custody, he could go clubbing and run into people that were actually worth pursuing. Done were the days of Scandals with its sad and tired clientele more in his father's age bracket than his own. He could hook up with college guys, baristas, bartenders, whatever fancy he took. Plus, models and actors. It was an all-you-can-screw-buffet. And weird enough, occasionally, he'd meet guys he'd actually like to spend time with.

It was one of those repeated hook-ups that had led him to the current party. Tray was a model who tried to break into commercial acting. They'd met at a club Sebastian doesn't quite remember anymore, and had actually hooked up a few times again, before Tray had decided to get into an actual relationship. For some reason, their hook-ups had led to an almost friendship, and occasionally, Tray would still invite him to parties, with other models and actors to hook up with.

Though this time, pickings were slim. Only three of the actors around seemed both bicurious and attractive enough, and two of those were busy making out with each other in the pool, and the third was a former hook-up that hadn't ended too well.

Sebastian had already decided he wouldn't stay long tonight. But at least he could have a drink. As he sat down, he realized he hadn't been the only person to get that idea. The man he ended up sitting beside was undeniably handsome, maybe around thirty, with perfectly styled brunet hair, a strong jawline and a well-fitting black suit, staring at his phone in disbelief and distress.

He looked so upset that Sebastian almost felt sorry for him. Almost. But distressed handsome guys might be tempted into having some fun. It was a far shot, sure, but Sebastian had nothing better to do. As a first step, he got the barkeepers attention.

"Whiskey Sour and a Touchdown for that guy here."

As expected, the guy looked up. Sebastian gave him a winning smile as he appreciated his face. Electric blue eyes, great bone structure, and there was something about that face that seemed familiar, although he couldn't quite place it.

"You look like you need it," Sebastian said as an explanation. "Rough day?"

The guy sighed. "You have no idea."

"A good drink might help," Sebastian said, giving him the widest grin. "My name's Sebastian."

"Cooper," the guy replied. He accepted the drink put in front of him. "To a sucky day."

"I'll drink to that," Sebastian said, toasting him. "So what's so sucky about it?"

Cooper sighed melodramatically, looking back at his phone. "He got _married_."

Huh, that was interesting. Maybe Sebastian had been wrong when he had assumed the guy to be straight. If he was that distraught about a guy getting married, well then that sounded like enough of an opening.

"Your ex?" Sebastian asked, trying to sound sympathetic.

To his surprise, Cooper barked out laughter. "Oh, no sorry. I'm… uh, straight. Not that I'm not flattered, but… my brother is the gay one. I mean the married one. I mean he got married. To a guy. Today."

"_Dommage_," Sebastian hummed, although he couldn't feel too disappointed. At least his gaydar was still functional. "So… you and your brother aren't that close, are you?"

Cooper sighed. "We've been trying to be closer, actually. But then I was away at a shoot and super busy when he was going through some really tough stuff, an awful break up, and now… I don't know. I don't think I screwed up that much. But now he got married. He didn't even tell me about it, I just found out via facebook, our mom posted about it." He shook his head, clearly frustrated

"Sounds rough," Sebastian said, surprising himself by actually feeling curious. The story sounded like a complete train wreck, and he could use some entertainment.

Cooper didn't disappoint. "That break-up I mentioned? Yeah, same guy. They were engaged – which, ridiculous in itself – then they broke up, then they didn't speak for months, and suddenly they're freaking _married_! The guy broke his heart. No, actually, the guy shattered his heart and then ground it up into dust, and now they're _married_!"

Sebastian frowned. "I think you forgot to mention the part where they got back together?"

"Right, fine, they got back together first," Cooper said. "Three days ago!"

"What?"

"And today, he got married. In a _barn_."

Sebastian couldn't help but laugh. "You're _kidding_!"

Cooper sighed. "I wish. It's just… my brother is… special. And he feels so much. He always gets into things too fast, too deep… and then he gets hurt. Broken. He has these romantic visions, but… they don't exactly fare well with reality. Do you get what I mean? He's a real romantic idiot. You know the type?"

"I think I do," Sebastian said. Maybe it was those last two words that conjured up his image, but Cooper couldn't have given a more accurate description of Blaine Anderson if he'd tried. He isn't sure why he keeps talking – he didn't drink enough to use it as an excuse. But the memory of Blaine, his dumb, ridiculous proposal, suddenly is too close to the surface to keep it down completely.

"I knew this guy in school. He was…" _Sex on a stick, and sings like a dream_. "Flawless. Unavailable, unfortunately. He was completely in love with this guy who left him behind in Ohio and flew off to New York for a joke of a performing arts school."

"NYADA?" Cooper asked.

Sebastian frowned, surprised that someone had heard of that ridiculous school. "Yeah, actually. They broke up soon after. That guy, my romantic idiot, he was devastated. Barely himself. But hey, good news is, he got back on his feet, maybe even stronger than before. Of course, then he had to get back together with his ex, and within the same week, staged the biggest proposal at our old school. It was ridiculous. Three different rival show choirs getting together, singing the Beatles, throwing petals… It was the most bizarre thing I've ever seen. Can't believe I actually helped him with that." Sebastian stopped, shaking his head. He was surprised to realize the memory still left a bitter taste in his mouth.

When he looked up, Cooper stared at him with an expression he can't quite figure out. "Sounds like a romantic idiot," he said.

Sebastian sighed. "Yeah. He is."

"Want to know something about your romantic idiot?" Cooper asked, picking up his phone again.

"Sure. What?"

Cooper turned directly to him, looking at the phone, before flipping it around. "He just got married. In a barn. At somebody else's wedding."

Sebastian stared at Cooper, then at the phone opened to Facebook.

Blaine Anderson is married to Kurt Hummel.

"The name is Cooper Anderson, and that romantic idiot is my brother," Cooper said.

Somehow, it felt like a punch to the gut. And it was one Sebastian should have seen coming. After all, he knew they'd been engaged. Them getting married was a matter of time. But there was so much information that he was missing. A break up? Getting together three days ago? Somebody else's wedding? A _barn_?!

"I think you need to tell me this story from the beginning," he said.

Cooper nodded. "And I think we need a few more drinks."

That could be arranged. There was no way Sebastian would miss out on the rest of this story. It sounded bizarre enough already.

He could just hope that Blaine would be okay.

* * *

II

In the end, Dalton is the place Blaine considers his home.

He knows his parents are trying, of course, but they haven't understood him in a long time. Their house has stopped feeling like home somewhere between Cooper leaving for LA and Blaine coming out to disastrous consequences. Dalton has been the place that has welcomed him, has allowed him to find himself, as well as his strengths and passions, and become a person that people can look up to. Being with the Warblers had given him more than he could tell at the time.  
Things changed when Kurt appeared, working his way into Blaine's heart and eventually tempting him to leave the home he made. The Warblers' betrayal hurt, but there was a little voice at the back of his head asking if he didn't betray them first. Blaine tried to make McKinley his home, even after Kurt went to New York. He built his niche there, thanks to Sam and Tina mostly. It just wasn't home. In the end, McKinley was Kurt's. And New York wasn't much better. He started walking in Kurt's and Rachel's footsteps, but it wasn't his home. It took returning to Dalton to find himself once more, to build himself together out of the wreck of his engagement.

Yes, Dalton is Blaine's home. Or rather – it was his home.

Now, it's gone.

The fire is still being investigated. Right now, it's still completely unclear what caused it – a freak accident, arson, something completely different? But Blaine can't find it in himself to care. Knowing the cause won't bring back his school.

They got the news during their impromptu honeymoon. The wedding happened so fast that Blaine hasn't quite wrapped his head around it yet, before reality came crashing in. And now, once more, he feels completely lost.

Kurt is more than understanding. Even when Blaine at first insisted not to end their honeymoon early, his husband (and how and when has the word stopped sending his heart into flutters already?) knew that they would not be happy with the end of Dalton hanging over them.

At least his students will be alright. All the Dalton students will be redistributed to the different districts, and thanks to Kurt and Rachel, his Warblers are given the opportunity to compete with New Directions at McKinley. It isn't quite what they have worked for, but it's better than nothing. He himself will be able to work with his husband and their best friend, probably helping McKinley out as well.

It isn't his students he's worried about. Actually, it's surprisingly hard to put into words why he feels so… lost, as if the rug has been pulled from under his feet. He has tried to explain it to Kurt, but he just can't find the words. How can he explain that the loss of Dalton feels like an open wound inside him? He can't even understand it himself, so how can he make Kurt see?

Why doesn't Kurt feel the same? Dalton was a sanctuary for him as well, even if only for a short time. But of course, they are different in that aspect. To Blaine, Dalton was a safe place, and leaving it was hard for him. To Kurt, it was an exile that he couldn't wait to get away from.

Even though their experiences are different, Kurt is sympathetic. He holds Blaine, comforts him, and listens whenever Blaine actually gets his thoughts together enough to talk, and even when he's just scrambling for words. He's patient.

But he doesn't understand.

When Blaine hears about the memorial, he immediately accepts the invitation for the both of them without discussion. It might sound a bit ridiculous, to hold a mourning day for a school. The dean has invited all present students, teachers, and even alumni to gather for a day of mourning what was lost on the grounds of the burnt down school. Blaine isn't naïve, he's aware that the alumni are the real target for this event – most of them successful and wealthy men, whose donations would be necessary to rebuild Dalton. The whole thing is more of a fundraiser than a funeral. But it's still an opportunity to mourn what was lost, a chance to say goodbye.

The thought is enough to almost choke Blaine up. Once upon a time, goodbye was just a normal word. "I'll never say goodbye to you," became something hopeful to hold on to. Somehow, during the last few years, the word took the sound of a death knell, something final.

Rachel isn't as sympathetic as Blaine would have hoped, when she hears that they'll attend the memorial instead of holding a strategy meeting about how to fuse the New Directions and the Warblers into a unit strong enough to win Nationals. But this time, he insists. If anything can give him closure, this has to be it.

Or maybe he's wrong.

The dean and other important alumni hold speeches, and as expected they're sprinkled with the reminder that donations will speed up the rebuilding. But as Blaine walks through the grounds afterwards, he doesn't feel the closure he's been looking for. Actually, he feels weirdly estranged from his surroundings. He sees students in their blazers, and longing flares up in his chest. For him, it hadn't been quite appropriate to don the student uniform, although he had accentuated his suit with an old navy and red Dalton tie. He thinks back of the times when he wore the blazer, a uniform signifying belonging, but also a shield against the outside world. He remembers the first time he put it on, how easy it had been to hold his head high and back straight while wearing it. He remembers straightening Kurt's mock attempt of the Dalton blazer during his attempt at spying. He remembers that last time he wore it, the way Sebastian's fingers had ghosted over the skin on his neck as he'd put the blazer on him.

Things were so much easier when he was still a student at Dalton. And how ridiculous is it that he already desperately wishes himself back in high school, when he has just started (and failed, repeatedly) to take on the real world?

There's no going back in time. There's no going back to Dalton. Not this time.

Kurt is beside him, chattering about the memorial, the alumni around him, anything. Maybe it's a reaction to Blaine's gloomy silence, like he's desperately trying to normalize what's happening around him, but it's not working. His chatter just reminds Blaine that his husband never had the same connection to Dalton.

They almost run into the dean, who thanks them for their attendance. Blaine mostly nods along. He isn't quite sure what to say. It's nice to hear that Dalton appreciates him like this, but it's not quite enough to pierce through this weird sense of detachment that surrounds him at the moment.

His thoughts as well as the conversation are interrupted by the sound of "Don't Rain On My Parade". Blaine frowns as he watches his husband take out his ringing phone, and then quickly excuse himself.

"This better be important, Rachel…" is the last he hears, before Kurt is too far away to be in earshot.

Blaine suppresses a sigh as he returns to his conversation, but he can hardly follow and when the dean excuses himself after a moment to talk to an alumnus that Blaine remembers as a local politician, he barely remembers just what they've been talking about.

He looks around, unable to catch a glimpse of where Kurt went. It should be easy to find him with the feathered black hat he's chosen for the opportunity – because even a memorial can't be dismissed as an opportunity for fashion – but he's still unsuccessful. As he looks around, he realizes there aren't exactly familiar faces around him. Sure, he's seen some of them before, but there is no one he actually knows.

Dalton is gone, Kurt isn't here, and Blaine…

The floodgates open.

Suddenly, it all comes crashing down around him. Everything that has happened in the last week hits him all at once. Has it really only been a week? Kurt and him, finally back together, getting married on a whim – someone else's whim, on someone else's wedding – an impromptu honeymoon, Dalton, the fire, everything…

It crashes around him like water, and he can't breathe.

It's like his whole life has turned upside down within such a short time that his brain hasn't even had time to process it. But he knows that twice so far, the world shattered him – once his bones on the dark, wet concrete of a parking lot, once his heart in the middle of the day in New York – and both times, Dalton opened its doors for him, giving him a sanctuary, a place where he can heal and rebuild himself. Now, it's gone. He will never be able to go back here, to find solace in the halls of the place that's been his home more than anywhere else. Even when he left for McKinley, a part of him always knew that Dalton was still there. Now, that anchor is gone. It's like he's floating, unattached…

He isn't, though. The weight of metal around his ring finger reminds him that he isn't alone. He's married now. Even though Dalton may be gone, he still has Kurt. Doesn't he?

But Dalton was stable, safe. Kurt is neither of these things.

Blaine's hand closes around the ring, trying to forcibly remind himself what it means. He doesn't have reason to doubt Kurt, or their commitment. They just got married, after all. That was a promise – a promise to be there for each other, forever, to be each other's home. And isn't that much better than a school that he would have left behind soon to go to college anyway?

Then again, an engagement is also a promise, and how easy has that broken? A wedding band isn't that much stronger an insurance than an engagement ring, and in the end, it can be tossed aside just as easily.

The ground beneath his feet feels unstable in a way that he's felt before – it's not a pleasant memory.

He tries to calm himself. It won't be like this again. Kurt won't let him go again, because he was miserable on his own. But Blaine was miserable after the break-up, promised himself to never look back, never forgive. And still, the pain faded over time, and in the end couldn't hold up against Kurt's sincerity and renewed commitment. Who could promise him that the memory of Kurt's own misery about losing him won't fade away once they return to New York, and the day-to-day problems return, the ones that drove them apart in the first place? How can they avoid falling into the same patterns and traps as before? They haven't really resolved anything, only decided that they want to overcome the obstacles, but never planned just how they would do that. All of those would be excellent topics to tackle after starting to date again. Instead, they rushed into marriage without a second thought. The rush of excitement over the wedding and honeymoon made rational thought impossible.

The destruction of Dalton was like crashing into a wall. His home is gone, his safe space just doesn't exist anymore. All that is left for him is to move forward. But what if it doesn't work this time, either? What if life breaks them again, if their marriage can't withstand reality more than their engagement did? What does he have left?

Blaine is aware that his hands are shaking, that his breathing has become rapid. In a flash of rationality, he realizes he's on his way to a full-blown panic attack in the middle of the remains of Dalton. He looks around, begging silently to catch a glimpse of his husband. He needs Kurt to find him right now, to remind him that they're okay, that they _will_ be okay, and that this time love will be enough.

And then…

Someone's talking to him, but Blaine can't notice much more than that it's not Kurt, not who he needs. It takes him a second longer to recognize the voice, and somehow he's both dismayed and relieved, and somehow not surprised at all.

"Are you okay?"

A hand closes around his upper arm, and Blaine finds himself looking up into the face of Sebastian Smythe. Of course, it's him. Green eyes find his own, and whatever expression of detached boredom had been on Sebastian's face, it changes into something actually concerned.

"Blaine? Hey, talk to me."

"I… can't…" is all he manages to rasp out.

"Can't what?"

"Can't breathe."

This isn't what he needs, not _who_ he needs, and the helpless look on Sebastian's face is almost comical. But Blaine feels like he's drowning, and Sebastian is here, and although Blaine won't remember who moves first, he somehow ends up with his face pressed against the fabric of Sebastian's shirt, with the other man's arms closing around him – loosely at first, as if he doesn't quite know what he's doing, but then closer, firm, solid. For a while, Blaine is very aware of his harsh breathing, how he tries to gulp in more air than he can take in. But Sebastian's hand presses him against the other man's chest, and he can't breathe as deep as he wants, as he needs. Still, he can't find it in himself to turn his head, to get away – not now, when there's finally something reliable, grounding him.

Slowly, his breathing gets shallower. The tingling in his hands retreats. His heartbeat, loud as a drum in his own ears, slows down. He can breathe again.

Step by step, his surroundings come back into focus. He can feel the cool air around him, the wind tugging at the curls that have escaped the gel. There's moisture on his cheek, and on Sebastian's shirt. The hold of Sebastian's arms around him has lost all of its initial hesitance. His own hands let go of the fabric of Sebastian's shirt that they've clutched into. For a few moments, he keeps his eyes closed, his head leaning softly against Sebastian's chest. He can feel the way it expands – inhale, exhale – and beneath it the soft drumming of a heartbeat.

He can breathe. Whatever this was, it has passed.

Maybe he should feel embarrassed, having a breakdown in the middle of a memorial, in front of Sebastian Smythe of all people. Maybe that will come later. Right now, all he feels is relief.

The hold around him loosens as Blaine steps back a bit. He's not sure what to expect when he looks up in Sebastian's face, but he finds him about as uncertain as he feels himself.

"Sorry," he says, surprised at the hoarseness in his voice.

For a moment, Sebastian looks at him as if unsure what to say, before a shadow of the familiar smirk returns. "Hey, you know me. Any excuse to cop a feel."

Blaine can't help but chuckle. "Right, glad to accommodate you."

Sebastian grins too, but there's something softer about him.

"So, not that I'm complaining. But… what was that?" he asked.

It's a legitimate question. After all, they haven't even talked since – wow, since the day of his proposal. And in their very next conversation, Blaine has a sort of nervous breakdown.

"I think it just… hit me. That Dalton's really gone," he says. It doesn't even begin to describe what went through his head.

He isn't sure what he expects from Sebastian. Some lewd remark, a sarcastic comment? It's certainly not a shrug.

"It's just a building."

Blaine glares up at the other man. "Dalton is more than just a building," he says, his voice more forceful and harsher than is deserved.

Sebastian doesn't seem offended, though. Instead, a knowing grin forms on his face. "Exactly."

Blaine must look about as confused as he feels, because Sebastian lightly rolls his eyes. "Come on. You'll see."

It feels natural, following Sebastian as he leads him away from the main event and to a more secluded area. For a second he wonders, if Sebastian is just trying to get him alone somewhere, but dismisses the thought as uncharitable. It also turns out to be unfounded, as he notices the group of people they're heading towards. It's the Warblers – not the current ones, the students he's teaching at the moment, but the alumni, his own group, Sebastian's group. He sees Nick and Jeff sitting close to each other, tied up in conversation. Trent is trying to comfort Thad, while at what seems to be the head of the group, Wes is standing, talking at the group in general. With relief, Blaine notices that Hunter hasn't shown up. Still, he feels a moment of hesitation. A part of him really wants to disappear in the group, to rush back to the time when he felt at home among them. But he can't really go back, can he? And he's abandoned them. He doesn't really deserve a spot among them.

Sebastian doesn't share his doubts. When he notices Blaine's steps slowing down, he puts a hand against his back, not quite pushing him along until they reach the group.

Wes looks up, and the smile on his face looks so genuine that Blaine feels an urge to hug him.

"Warbler Blaine, it's about time."

The other guys turn around, looking at him, and any doubt Blaine had about whether he'd be welcome disappears under their smiles. He steps into their middle, and the group accepts him immediately. If anybody notices the redness around his eyes, or the tear marks on Sebastian's shirt, nobody comments. And this, more than anything today, finally feels like home.

It's here among his friends that Kurt finds him again. There's a swing in his step as he enters the group, walking straight up to Blaine with a grin and sparkle in his eyes that doesn't fit the occasion at all.

"There you are, I've been looking all over for you," Kurt says, before he even looks at the other Warblers.

Once more, it's Wes doing the greeting. "Kurt, it's good to see you. We weren't sure you'd come, seeing how short your stay at Dalton was."

"I'm mostly here for Blaine," Kurt replies though not unfriendly. "Still, I'm sorry for you guys. I know Dalton meant a lot to all of you." He looks around the group in greeting, his face only falling minimally when he sees Sebastian, and for a second Blaine finds himself praying that Kurt doesn't notice his shirt. He prays even more that Sebastian doesn't choose this moment to relapse into being obnoxious.

Sebastian meets Kurt's gaze and the challenge within, but Blaine can't read the expression on his face. To his surprise, Sebastian schools his face into something neutral, before he nods towards Kurt and calmly speaks.

"Congratulations, by the way."

Kurt frowns, immediately defensive. "For what?"

Now, Sebastian looks at him like he's particularly slow. "The wedding," he says, as if it's obvious.

It sounds almost sincere, and still Blaine feels a shadow of his earlier panic return. He wasn't aware that Sebastian even knew about the wedding, but from the group's reaction, he must have been the only one.

"Wedding?" Wes repeats, raising an eyebrow as he looks between the three of them. "Warbler Blaine, is there anything you would like to tell us?"

He knows that he should be proud, but instead he feels something like the worst bout of stage fright he remembers. "We, uh… got married. Last week." He tries to smile, hopes it's not the grimace it feels like.

There are immediate congratulations, and the Warblers seem to be happy for him. And still, the one comment that really gets through to him, is David's question, "And you didn't think to invite any of us?"

"It was spontaneous," Kurt says. Right, there it was, that tone of bashful excitement that Blaine shot for and completely missed.

"You just spontaneously had an officiate in front of you and got married?" Nick asked.

"Yes, actually," Kurt says. "So we were at our friends Santana's and Brittany's wedding…"

Blaine can't help but catch the surprised look in Wes's eyes, a hint of concern, at those words.

He sits quietly as Kurt describes their wedding, smiles and nods at the right places, and once again, he feels detached. He loves their wedding just because it's theirs, how happy he was at the time. But he starts to think that maybe it won't be a story he'll revel in telling in the future. He had tons of opinions on their wedding when he first planned it. None of them came true eventually, with them getting married at somebody else's wedding. In a barn.

He looks away from Wes, can't stand looking at him with the subtle concern in his face. He tries to focus on Kurt, who clearly enjoys giving the details of the decorations, the entertainment, and Blaine remembers that his husband actually had a hand in the details of the wedding, even though that was for Brittany's and Santana's benefit. It should be comforting, but it makes him feel even more alone. As his eyes wander, they're inevitably drawn to Sebastian, whose expression of boredom changes once Blaine catches his gaze.

It would have been safer to look to the ground.

Sebastian doesn't say anything, just looks at him. Despite all his remarks and flirtations, this was always the thing that actually got to Blaine, the real reason he never was able to delete his number and step away – because Sebastian sees him.

Kurt's arm squeezes around him, giving him the strength to break eye contact and focus on the conversation again, which he gathers has reached the point where they ended the honeymoon to return.

"And here we are."

"That is quite a story," Wes said. "Not quite what I had expected. But congratulations to the both of you."

Kurt beams and Blaine remembers his manners to thank them for the congratulations. The normalcy he felt just a bit before is completely gone now. He feels strange and detached, even as he puts on a broad smile. He's just married. He should be ecstatic.

He was ecstatic before he heard about Dalton. Before reality came crashing in.

He can feel Sebastian's eyes on him, is certain there's a knowing, bemused expression on his face. But he doesn't look to make sure.

"Anyway, as nice as it is seeing you guys, I'm afraid we'll have to leave early," Kurt says.

Blaine's head whips around. "What?"

Kurt nods, not noticing his distress. "Rachel called me earlier," he explains, "and you won't believe what's happened. Jesse got in contact with her, and he says he has information on Sue's plans for regionals. She says he thinks his information might get us to nationals, and he wants to meet us. Well, her. But we have to be there!"

Sue is a wild card, always has been. Information on her schemes really could be vital. It might not only benefit the New Directions but also the Warblers that have joined them. It's certainly worth exploring. But does it have to be now?

Blaine realizes he doesn't want to leave yet. He wants the former conversation with the Warblers back, wants to feel home and safe with them just for a little while longer, before he has to deal with show choir politics again.

"Why can't Rachel just deal with it?" he asks, trying not to sound too annoyed or petulant.

"You can't really trust Rachel around Jesse," Kurt says. "Besides, we talked about this. We're doing this together, the three of us."

"I know, but…" Blaine looked around, suddenly very aware of every Warbler's eyes on them. Especially a pair of very green ones. "Excuse us for a moment, guys?"

He takes Kurt's a few steps away. Even as he walks, he knows that he's not being smart. He should probably just let it go, say his goodbye (again that word) to Dalton and the Warblers and focus on getting their students to Nationals. But he remembers the panic from earlier, and he just can't. He needs more time. Surely, he can make Kurt understand that?

"What is there even to talk about?" Kurt asks. "This might help us get to Nationals."

"I get that," Blaine says. "But… Look, I'm just not ready to leave yet. I just got to reconnect with the guys."

"We've been here over an hour," Kurt says. "And you can meet up with them anytime."

"Most of them don't even live in Ohio anymore," Blaine replies. "Sebastian came from LA."

Something flashes over Kurt's face and he realizes that this was perhaps not the smartest argument to make right now.

"And wouldn't it be such a shame to miss spending time with the meerkat..."

"He's my friend," Blaine says, suddenly very aware of how familiar this conversation is. "And it's not about him. It's about all of them."

"I don't think it is," Kurt says. "I think it's about you. I know you're upset. I just don't think hanging around Dalton's ruins is going to help you." He lifts his hand and strokes a thumb over Blaine's cheek. "Looking back won't make this better. Moving forward might."

His voice is soft, caring, and maybe he's right. But still…

"I just really need some more time with the Warblers," Blaine says. "What if you go and talk things through with Rachel and Jesse?"

"How are you supposed to get back to Lima?" Kurt replies immediately.

"I'll get a ride with one of the guys," Blaine says calmly.

"You mean Sebastian?"

Anger and jealousy flash in Kurt's eyes, and Blaine feels so… tired. How can this still be a problem? After everything they've been through, after all this time, after getting married… And by now it had been years since Sebastian had actually hit on him. Did Kurt still hold that grudge from high school?

Then again, high school with all its mistakes isn't as far away as he'd like to pretend. And by now he can almost feel the remnant of Sebastian's arms around him, holding him through the worst of his panic attack, and he realizes that Kurt can never find out about it. He tries not to think too much about how certain he is that his husband would probably focus more on who held and comforted him, instead of the fact that he was having a panic attack.

It's an uncharitable thought, Blaine's very much aware of that, but it's a thought that gives him the strength to stand his ground.

"I'd like to stay here," he said. "I'll get a ride with Wes or someone. It's going to be fine."

Kurt looks like he wants to argue, but thankfully, he relents. Maybe he realizes it's a silly argument, or maybe he just thinks dealing with Rachel and Jesse is more important. Either way, they return to the group, where Kurt tells them he has to go. Blaine notices the happiness in the Warblers' faces when he assures them he's staying a bit longer. And then, Kurt pulls him into a goodbye kiss.

The thing is, PDA has never been their style. The kiss is deeper, way more involved than something they usually feel comfortable with in public. A part of Blaine wants to cherish it, as something they can do now that they're married, a sign how close they are. He wants to. But deep down, he knows this display isn't for themselves, but rather for Sebastian's benefit.

Blaine manages to keep his smile until Kurt has turned around and left. He just so catches the disapproving look on Wes' face. And for a second, he looks just where he isn't allowed to.

He can't read Sebastian's face. It doesn't look like judgement at least. More akin to pity. But there's more to it.

Everybody's eyes are on him, and he can't remember ever feeling this uncomfortable around the Warblers. He tries to think of an ice breaker, but nothing comes to mind. Maybe it would have been smarter to just leave. It's not too late yet to catch up with Kurt if he decides to go now…

Fortunately, Sebastian takes pity on him, and speaks. "So, Duval, didn't you have a whole speech prepared? Let's hear it."

Nick stands up, and as he starts talking, the attention thankfully shifts towards him. Blaine sits down close to where David is sitting, and for a moment just listens, trying not to get lost in his thoughts again.

It's not working, so when Sebastian moves to sit beside him, it comes as a relief.

"You're thinking loud enough to drown out Duval's speech," he mutters into Blaine's ear.

"Sorry?"

Sebastian chuckles. "I was going to thank you," he says. "The speech is lousy." And okay, that makes Blaine smile a bit.

As the speech ends, there's applause, and soon after, conversation picks up again. At least, Blaine isn't at the center of it anymore. It's nice, listening to them swap anecdotes. But the further along the conversations goes, the more they tell stories he doesn't know. Once more, he's reminded of how he abandoned his friends. As sound as his reasoning had seemed back then, it seems a bit flimsy now. Most of all, he regrets missing so many things, so many connections.  
Sebastian might be the biggest surprise. Despite his sarcastic aloofness, Blaine only now realizes how closely connected he is to the other Warblers. Hunter must have been even worse to them than Blaine thought back then, and Sebastian was the one taking the brunt of his rage, in a way shielding the others. Suddenly, Blaine wishes he held on more to that friendship. But back then, almost everything he did was aimed at getting Kurt's forgiveness, and Sebastian would always be a red flag for Kurt, even now.

Still, it's nice to just sit and listen to the new stories, so he just sits back, at least until Trent starts a story about the one performance at a retirement home they forced Sebastian to organize after Hunter was suspended.

"Oh, not that again," Sebastian mutters, rolling his eyes. "How often is he going to tell that one?"

"You're just embarrassed," Blaine teases. This is a story he's heard it before, starring two elderly ladies that had argued about who'd get to adopt which Warbler.

"You're one to talk, Mr. Gap Attack," Sebastian shot back without hesitation, and now it was Blaine's turn to groan in embarrassment.

"Come on," Sebastian said, standing up. "Walk with me."

It's such a simple request, and still so unusual for Sebastian. Blaine doesn't think for a moment before following. Luckily, the other Warblers are so enthralled by the story's retelling that nobody seems to notice them leaving.

They don't walk far, just enough to get a good view over the former campus. Blaine isn't quite surprised that most people have left by now. The few groups he can still see seem to consist of current students and teachers, but especially the highly expected wealthy donors have gone. He remembers something about a charity dinner, and for once he's glad that Kurt only planned a short appearance for them. There's no way he'd be up for something like that.

Sebastian leads them to a bench, and they sit down together. For a while, neither of them speaks as Blaine just takes in the scenery. It looks peaceful in a way that doesn't quite make sense to him. But maybe that's because he himself hasn't been at peace since he heard about the fire.

Or maybe he hasn't been at peace even longer, so long that he barely remembers what it feels like.

"You're really not taking this well, hm?"

Blaine looks up, and only now realizes that Sebastian must have been watching him for a while. There's something serious in the other man's face, not a trace of sarcasm or cruelty.

Blaine shrugs, tries to seem nonchalant. It fails miserably, of course.

"It's just a building, you know?" Sebastian continues. "With all those rich donors the administration is currently cozying up to, they'll have the funds for a complete rebuild within a month. Give it two years and everything will be back where it belongs."

But it won't be everything. The memories can't be rebuilt. The spirit of Dalton is much more than the bricks it was constructed from. There will be no staircase where he met his soulmate and later proposed, there will be no shallow grave for a bird in a bedazzled casket, not the table where that casket was built on and where they kissed for the first time… He isn't sure how to express any of that to Sebastian, or anyone. He can't even make his own husband understand. All he can manage is one sentence.

"I told you. Dalton is more than a building," Blaine said.

Sebastian nods, looking straight into his eyes. "But only the building was destroyed," he says. "Everything else? The traditions, the spirit, the Warblers? That's still there, and when there's a new building, then they'll all return."

Blaine stares at him in disbelief. It sounds so simple, but it still floors him. How had he not seen this? Now that Sebastian lays it out, it's obvious. Dalton can be rebuilt, can be Dalton again, as long as everybody keeps its spirit alive. It feels like a wound inside him has been soothed.

It also makes him aware, that there is more than one wound inside. Because even as this thought settles in, he realizes that there's more. He still feels lost, still floating.

"Will you tell me what's going on with you now?" Sebastian asks.

"What do you mean?" Blaine asked. It's more of an automatic response, honed to perfection over the years of pretending that everything was fine, and clearly, Sebastian won't fall for it.

"Let's see. You act like someone actually died. You have a full-blown panic attack. And I did see your face earlier when your so-called soulmate all but peed on you to mark his territory. So, you tell me."

Blaine would be offended about the last one, if it wasn't such an accurate image. But when it comes down to it, it's the same question he's been asking himself all day, that he's tried and failed to put in words. He can't explain it to Kurt, so he can't imagine being able to explain it to Sebastian.

But Sebastian watches him carefully, and actually seems willing to listen. Blaine figures he at least owes him to try. It's hard though, and he struggles for words.

"Do you think I made a mistake?"

He surprises himself with the question. But just by speaking the words, it feels like the last puzzle piece has slotted into place. He's felt scared at the thought of losing Dalton as a safe space to return to. But why would that scare him, unless he doesn't feel secure with his current place in life? He's scared, because he can't trust in his marriage. How can he? He got married less than a week after getting back together with Kurt. They tried and failed twice to live together, and nothing has changed that convinces him it will be different this time. All he has is blind faith, and desperation, and nothing to come home to. Dalton's destruction was the emergency break on a train spun out of control, bringing him to a screeching halt, and making him think about what happened for the first time since Sue revealed to them that they were getting married that day.

He loves Kurt, that much he knows. But love is not enough, he's learned that lesson and desperately doesn't want a repeat.

And somewhere around him floats the thought he doesn't dare to follow, the one he's daring Sebastian to put into words. Because if Sebastian says it, he can ignore it, rail against it.

Was it a mistake to get married?

Sebastian watches him, carefully, and eventually, he speaks.

"Yes, you did."

It's what he's expected, maybe even wanted to hear. Then why isn't he able to fight it, tell Sebastian that he's wrong?

"See, you're kind of an idiot," Sebastian continues. "A romantic idiot. Way too naïve. Kind of hopeless. You get carried away way too easily."

"You sound like my brother," Blaine mutters, not quite sure how to react to being insulted. He knows how scathing Sebastian can be. But somehow, he thought he would be spared.

Sebastian rolls his eyes. "Do _not_ get me started on your brother," he says. "And we were still talking about you, and whether you made a mistake or not. I think you did. I think you shouldn't have married him, and I think you know that. Now, we both know I'm not Hummel's biggest fan. Or any fan at all. He doesn't deserve you. That's not just my opinion, by the way. Ask any of the Warblers and they'll tell you the same thing. Ask Cooper, if you have to. But hey, you can date whoever you want."

"Then why is it a mistake?"

"Why did you get married?" Sebastian asks.

"Because I want to spend the rest of my life with him," Blaine answers without even having to think.

"You were already going to do that though," Sebastian says, "when you were engaged. How long did you live together before you broke up?"

Blaine wants to protest, but then he realizes that he was just about to defend himself by bringing up that he moved out once without them breaking up. But that just means they tried to live together twice and both of them failed.

"It won't be like that this time," Blaine says.

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. "Why not?"

Blaine doesn't know what to say.

"What's different this time? What were the issues that led to you breaking up? Did you talk about them? Do you have plans on how to live together without falling back into old patterns? What are your plans for if you have problems again? How are you going to tackle them? What will you do different this time to get a different result?"

Blaine can't meet Sebastian's eye, not when he so precisely puts into words all the vague fears that have been haunting him these last few days.

"So we couldn't make it work last time, that doesn't mean we can't do it this time," he says, trying and failing to sound confident.

"Have you talked about any of it?" Sebastian asks.

Blaine shakes his head.

"Well, if you want this marriage to have more than a snowball's chance in hell, you might want to look into that," Sebastian says. "Look, I'm not saying you two are doomed from the start. I might be thinking that, but I won't tell you that. What I'm saying is that you guys have a million issues, and I honestly think you should have figured out at least some of them before getting married. You getting back together with him? Personally, I think that's already a mistake, but that's just my subjective opinion. Getting married to him after what, three days? That's an objective mistake."

He should be arguing against it. Unfortunately, Sebastian makes way too much sense. Maybe that's why Kurt would prefer them not talking to each other.

"It seemed to make sense at the time," he says weakly.

Sebastian sighs, shaking his head, and suddenly he looks really tired. For a while, they sit together in silence. Blaine thinks he should probably be angry at Sebastian. But he can't.

"Just tell me one thing," Sebastian says eventually, "and really think about it, please. If you were back at that point, and actually had time to think things through. Would you do it again? Would you marry him?"

Blaine swallows the automatic answer of "Yes" and takes a moment to think. He loves Kurt, wants to spend the rest of their lives together. It would be so easy if the question was whether he wants to be married to Kurt – he does, of course. But that's not the question. It's whether it was the right decision at this point in time. And here, surrounded by the ruins of his former home, with Kurt far away to solve some show choir crisis, next to Sebastian with his awful, obnoxious ability to see right through him with barely a glance, there is only one answer.

"No."

He glances down at his hands, all the while feeling Sebastian's eyes on him. He's just admitted the one thing that scares him more than anything. How can he move on from this? How can he return home and look his husband in the eye, when the truth is that he thinks their wedding was a mistake?

There should be a turmoil inside him, like there was earlier. Instead, he feels weirdly calm. No, it's more exhaustion, like all the fight has left him.

"I'm sorry," Sebastian says, his voice soft and earnest, although Blaine still can't bring himself to look at him. "In my defense, you did ask."

"I did," Blaine admits. That's another thing. He can never let things be, now matter how often he learns not to wake sleeping dogs.

He isn't sure how long they sit there, but he knows that he'll have to return to his life eventually. He just has no idea how.

"So… where do I go from here?" he asks. He doesn't expect Sebastian to know an answer.

He's wrong.

"Look, Blaine… Just because your wedding was a mistake, doesn't mean your marriage has to be."

Now Blaine does have to look up. Sebastian still looks at him seriously, and once more, Blaine feels completely transparent.

"You shouldn't have gotten married like that. Not in a barn, not at someone else's wedding. But that's what happened, can't change it. You can still make your marriage work. That is what you want, isn't it?"

There's a hint of hesitation, and Blaine wonders how much that must cost Sebastian, to sound neutral and even supportive.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with him," Blaine says again. The admission is easy, although he wishes he couldn't see the flicker of hurt in Sebastian's eyes.

"Then try that," Sebastian says. "Just try to actually deal with your issues instead of ignoring them. And hey, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe you can make it work. And if you don't…"

He stops, hesitating over whether he should continue to speak.

Blaine frowns. He's not sure he actually wants to hear this. Or maybe he's just not sure whether he should hear it. But they've been open with each other so far, and he feels like he owes it to Sebastian to actually listen.

"Then what?" he asks.

Before Sebastian can speak, they're interrupted when Jeff calls out to them.

"What?" Sebastian scoffs.

"Just… Wes is about to leave, and a few others are as well," Jeff says. "I figured you wanted to say bye to them?"

"We'll be there in a moment," Blaine says.

Jeff eyes them with curiosity, but then he leaves to give them some privacy.

"Come on, we don't want to make Montgomery wait," Sebastian says.

"Just a moment," Blaine says softly, "you were about to say something else."

Sebastian looks at him, hesitating for a moment before speaking.

"I should get you your wedding gift now," he says.

Blaine frowns. "A gift?"

Sebastian shrugs. "Well, it's tradition."

"You should have given that to us when Kurt was still here," Blaine says. Although that probably would have been a horrible idea. He doesn't want to imagine Kurt's reaction to that.

"Actually, it's just for you," Sebastian says, not meeting his eyes for a moment. It sounds dangerous, but after everything they discussed earlier, what difference can it make? So, Blaine looks at Sebastian, expectantly. Trustingly.

Sebastian rummages through his pockets, until he finds a piece of paper and a pen. He proceeds to scribble something down and pushes it into Blaine's hands.

Confused, Blaine looks down at the paper. There are numbers on it that he would never admit he knows by heart.

"I don't understand," he says slowly. "Your wedding gift for me is your phone number?"

"It's symbolic," Sebastian replies. "Call it an insurance."

"Insurance?" Blaine repeats.

"Insurance," Sebastian confirms. "A carte blanche. A no questions asked. Get out of jail free card. Whatever you want to call it."

Blaine frowns at him. He still doesn't quite understand – or maybe he understands just a bit too much – but he needs Sebastian to say it.

"One time, in the future, no matter what, when you're in trouble," Sebastian starts to explain, (and Blaine is painfully aware of the inclusion of when instead of if), "you can call me under this number – and I will make it go away. No matter when, no matter what trouble you're in. I'll get you out."

Blaine feels warmer than he has all day. He stares at Sebastian, wondering just how it can be so easy for the other man to see through him, and answer the thing he's afraid of. Because even if Sebastian doesn't spell it out, Blaine understands. Sebastian offers him an alternative to Dalton, offers to put him together if life breaks him again. Something to hold onto. Something to fall back on if things don't work out. A reminder that there are things to come home to.

Slowly, he feels the corners of his mouth lift into a smile. "Insurance," he says softly.

"One call," Sebastian confirms. "One time. Whatever you need."

He hugs Sebastian, holding onto him a bit tighter and a bit longer than he should be comfortable with. And finally, he feels like he has ground under his feet.

Eventually, he steps back. Sebastian looks almost embarrassed. Blaine's certain he isn't used to this much hugging, and somehow he wants to laugh at the thought. He feels strangely giddy, but maybe that's just the iron grip of fear letting go of his heart. There are still things to worry about, things to be afraid of. But somehow, they don't feel so suffocating anymore.

"We should go and see Wes off," Blaine says eventually, dragging Sebastian with him back to the Warblers. Some of them shoot them curious or knowing looks, but Blaine doesn't care.

They stay a while longer, the most of them at least, until they're the last ones on the old campus. Blaine still feels a bit sad when they finally part ways and he follows Sebastian to his car. But mostly, he feels calmer, almost at peace. Dalton being gone will hurt for much longer, but now it feels like something he can bear. There are tons of challenges for him and Kurt, but he feels ready to take them on now.

The car ride is comfortable, even though they don't talk much. Blaine catches himself smiling, and for the first time in days it doesn't feel forced. Far too soon, Sebastian stops in front of the Hummel home, where Blaine notices no trace of Kurt's car.

He hesitates for a moment, before hugging Sebastian a third time this day, a gesture of thanks and goodbye. Sebastian holds on a second too long, and then softly, barely there, presses a kiss onto his cheek.

"Take care of yourself, Blaine."

"I will," he says. "And Sebastian… thank you. You have no idea how much you helped me today."

Sebastian rolls his eyes and waves him off. "Well, there's something you could do to thank me," he says, the smirk prominent even in the sound of his voice. "Call your brother from time to time? The guy is suffocating."

Blaine's eyes widen. "Oh my god. You really met my brother?"

"Apparently, he thinks I'm his new best friend," Sebastian says.

Now, Blaine wishes the earth could swallow him. At least now he understands how Sebastian heard the details about his wedding. He's not sure whether this is a good thing or a bad thing.

"Seriously, call him. And while you're at it, call me too."

Blaine grins. "I definitely will," he promises. He means it.

When he leaves the car and walks up to his in-laws' house, he notices he's walking more upright, his head held up high. Dalton may be gone, but that doesn't mean he's floating. And just maybe, he's going to be okay.

* * *

III

Time will pass, as it's bound to do, and for a long time, nothing will change. Sebastian will make his way into law school, surprising himself with how well he takes to the subject. There will be guys, a lot of them. Hot ones, cute ones, and a few interesting ones. There'll be challenges, personal and professional. There will even be a boyfriend for a short while, and it will leave Sebastian heartbroken for a few weeks, before he can pick himself up again.

There will also be friendships. He will watch Cooper finally get his break with a television show, and he will never admit that he actually has started liking the older Anderson brother. As for Blaine, they will stay in contact. They will text, sometimes call, and on occasion even see each other, when he's visiting his brother. Kurt won't come with him very often, claiming the LA weather harmful to his complexion. Sebastian certainly won't be bothered by it, and Cooper won't seem too concerned with it either. Blaine won't comment, though sometimes Sebastian will notice something too tight around his eyes, the lines in his face just a bit deeper than they should be.

He won't say a thing, though. Not his place.

Years will pass, and that promise will almost be forgotten. Sebastian will not be waiting by the phone. He'll be fine without Blaine Anderson, as he's always been.

And then, one night, he will be at a bar. He'll be chatting up this guy. Lionel, aspiring actor and part-time barista, whose ass is just nice enough to land a few jeans commercials, but not enough to get him an actual career. They'll still be on their first drink of the three Sebastian will probably need to get invited back to his place. At first, the buzzing of his phone will be an intrusion, an annoyance.

But he will see the caller's name. Suddenly, he will know, and the guy at the bar will be forgotten.

Sebastian will get up, step out onto the sidewalk, holding the phone against his ear, and listen to raspy breathing, until Blaine will finally collect himself enough to utter the words Sebastian has waited to hear.

"Sebastian… I'd like to make my phone call."

He won't ask questions, he's promised not to. But a few days later, Blaine will be moved into Cooper's new apartment, a divorce lawyer will be hired, and slowly, piece by piece, Sebastian will put him back together.

It will take time, lots of it. But if it's the last thing Sebastian will ever accomplish, Blaine _will_ be okay.


End file.
